Building up your emotional momentum and inertia(?)

How many times have you heard people say "you just need to pick up momentum" or "we need to carry our momentum into this next project"? I think a lot of us take this to mean carrying a positive attitude or ability to get stuff done quickly/effectively; to 'be on a roll'. I think this is only half of the equation that leads to success/happiness/results...pick your synonym.The other part, the part which I can't seem to figure out a name for is the ability for you to maintain that momentum in the presence of negative external forces. An example that comes to mind for me would be my recent goal to lose weight and generally get into better shape. In the beginning months, I could work out three days in a row but if something interrupted my fourth day, I'd lose that momentum and not work out on days five or six. I still had my goal, but I lacked the ability to absorb the impacts of getting thrown off track and took some time to get going again. Now, four months later, if I miss a day due to an external force, it only affects that day and no more. On top of that, things that would have thrown me off before (like the meeting I have today from 6pm-9pm), I just take in stride and adapt my routine to account for it (working out before work so I don't miss it).

So how does this apply to the rest of my life? In a way that I don't fully understand, it seems that when I keep going towards my goals or aspirations, and the more vivid they get in my head, and the more I get up after being knocked off course, the more of this second half of the equation, this dark energy I seem to have. What's also interesting, is that this dark energy seems to express itself universally in every part of my life and I'm able to take shocks from my internal environment that would have previously thrown me off course, and on top of that, I seek out sources to keep feeding the dark energy and increasing the momentum. By building up the momentum to work out every day, and the ability to absorb the shock of external (okay, and sometimes internal) setbacks without loosing that momentum, I am applying myself harder in other areas of my life like other healthy habits, and in maintaining my environment (keeping the house clean, making sure my laundry is done), and even at work. I guess I'm starting to feel that this dark energy is what feeds your momentum and keeps you going; you just have to figure out what feeds it and then make sure it eats up!

Trusting yourself to make the right decisions; is that what being an adult means?

Growing up, I always had this half-lucid idea of what being an "adult" really  meant. Depending on how old I was and who I’d talked to recently it varied, but it still had the same main elements. First thought being an adult meant 18...then over 21. At one time I thought it meant living on your own, and then it meant getting married. After that it meant owning a house. When I was in middle school I thought it meant having a job; in college I thought it meant having career with growth opportunity and a 401(k). In high school I thought it meant being able to have enough money buy a new car, and last year it meant having enough money to put a down payment on a house. In other words, my idea of what an adult "is” has always been dynamic, but along the same basic themes. Now that I'm 27 and I've accomplished many of those aforementioned points, there aren't many days when I really feel like an adult. 

Then today it hit me that maybe being an adult isn't about those things. Maybe they are just the KPI (or key performance indicators for those who aren't up on their biz-lingo). Maybe being an adult is a state you find yourself in the realization hits that you have to make the tough choices on your own, that nobody can fill in the answer for you, and that you have to take full responsibility for the outcome associated with your choices. When we're kids, the choices that we have to make are fairly limited both in scope and possible outcomes. As we get older and older, those choices we have to make become infinitely more complex and abundant. Maybe it’s that moment when we realize and embrace that we have to make the tough choices without a safety net, and even though people might be able to give you advice, that when you make that choice to jump that it's your ass on the line and you willingly accept responsibility for everything that comes from it.

I know that I turn too much to that safety net, always afraid of making the wrong choices so I look for outside council from anyone who'll listen hoping they’ll tell me what to do. I’m afraid to have that trust in myself; trust that the decisions I’ll make will be the right ones, and that if I make the wrong choice, it’ll be because of me and nobody else. Jason Seiden in his book "Super Staying Power" describes the difference between fear and courage stating that courage feels just like fear, and it’s what you do with it that separates the two. and I think that too plays into what it means to be an adult. Being an adult means taking that fear of the outcomes of your decisions, embracing it, and having the courage and trust in yourself to make the right decision and taking the leap, knowing that if you fall, that's something that'll be on you and nobody else. But as long as you stay wrapped in fear of trusting yourself and always look for somebody to hand you the answer, no matter what KPIs life brings you, you’ll never truly feel like an adult.

...I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet!