Trusting yourself to make the right decisions; is that what being an adult means?

Growing up, I always had this half-lucid idea of what being an "adult" really  meant. Depending on how old I was and who I’d talked to recently it varied, but it still had the same main elements. First thought being an adult meant 18...then over 21. At one time I thought it meant living on your own, and then it meant getting married. After that it meant owning a house. When I was in middle school I thought it meant having a job; in college I thought it meant having career with growth opportunity and a 401(k). In high school I thought it meant being able to have enough money buy a new car, and last year it meant having enough money to put a down payment on a house. In other words, my idea of what an adult "is” has always been dynamic, but along the same basic themes. Now that I'm 27 and I've accomplished many of those aforementioned points, there aren't many days when I really feel like an adult. 

Then today it hit me that maybe being an adult isn't about those things. Maybe they are just the KPI (or key performance indicators for those who aren't up on their biz-lingo). Maybe being an adult is a state you find yourself in the realization hits that you have to make the tough choices on your own, that nobody can fill in the answer for you, and that you have to take full responsibility for the outcome associated with your choices. When we're kids, the choices that we have to make are fairly limited both in scope and possible outcomes. As we get older and older, those choices we have to make become infinitely more complex and abundant. Maybe it’s that moment when we realize and embrace that we have to make the tough choices without a safety net, and even though people might be able to give you advice, that when you make that choice to jump that it's your ass on the line and you willingly accept responsibility for everything that comes from it.

I know that I turn too much to that safety net, always afraid of making the wrong choices so I look for outside council from anyone who'll listen hoping they’ll tell me what to do. I’m afraid to have that trust in myself; trust that the decisions I’ll make will be the right ones, and that if I make the wrong choice, it’ll be because of me and nobody else. Jason Seiden in his book "Super Staying Power" describes the difference between fear and courage stating that courage feels just like fear, and it’s what you do with it that separates the two. and I think that too plays into what it means to be an adult. Being an adult means taking that fear of the outcomes of your decisions, embracing it, and having the courage and trust in yourself to make the right decision and taking the leap, knowing that if you fall, that's something that'll be on you and nobody else. But as long as you stay wrapped in fear of trusting yourself and always look for somebody to hand you the answer, no matter what KPIs life brings you, you’ll never truly feel like an adult.

...I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet!